


My Salvation

by adamwhatareyouevendoing



Category: ITV Victoria (2016), Victoria (TV)
Genre: F/M, Fix-It
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-08
Updated: 2016-09-08
Packaged: 2018-08-13 23:05:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7989445
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adamwhatareyouevendoing/pseuds/adamwhatareyouevendoing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“I think both he and the Queen understood that they were not in a position to marry,” he murmurs, “whatever their inclination.”</i>
</p><p>Fix-it for 1x03. Set at the dance, because I loved the beauty (and pain) of the scene at Brocket Hall, the orchids, and of course, the dancing.</p>
            </blockquote>





	My Salvation

Victoria’s heart leaps when she spots Lord M entering the room. Clearly her body has not got used to being without him yet.

She is taken aback when he walks up to her. After everything that had passed between them last time they saw each other, she had almost expected him not to show, and certainly to spend as long as possible skirting the edges of the room and not talking to her.

“I wasn’t sure if I would dance with you tonight,” she admits when he takes her in his arms.

“It would be unkind for Elizabeth to refuse her Leicester.” The words themselves are simple, but the meaning behind them is not. She does not miss the use of the possessive pronoun, and cannot help but wonder if he means it about himself.

“Leicester was her companion.” The metaphor makes her want to weep.

“He was. He did have a wife, but then she died.”

She knows he means to draw the comparison and resolves to find out why. “But even though he was free, he never married?” she probes.

“I think both he and the Queen understood that they were not in a position to marry,” he murmurs, “whatever their inclination.”  
  
Her mind reels. _Could this mean he loves her too?_  
  
In the wake of her stunned silence, his face drops. They draw to a halt, though everyone around them keeps dancing. It feels as though the world has stopped spinning on its axis. She is too shocked to respond, even as he steps away brokenly. By the time she shakes herself out of her reverie, it is too late.

She watches as he leaves the ballroom shortly after, and there is an expression of such infinite lassitude on his face that this time she decides she has had enough. They have walked away from each other too many times against their will. She understands now why he did what he did, and said what he said, that day at Brocket Hall. This time though, she cannot let him leave without getting what she wants.  
  
She slips over to where her ladies are gathered, taking one to the side.  
  
“My dearest Emma, I wonder if I may ask you a favour?”

 

***

 

With Emma keeping watch, it is safe enough to follow after the elusive Lord.

Her lady gives her a meaningful look, and Victoria isn’t sure whether she’s more worried about her, or Lord M. Yet the way she’d told her about the orchids makes her think that Emma wants to see them happy.

She turns into the hallway where Lord M has retreated to. How Emma knew that he would be here Victoria isn’t sure, until she sees where he is standing. She stops short.

He is staring up at the portrait of Queen Elizabeth. His back is turned on her, and she allows herself a moment to admire him in his quiet reflection. He might have denied it at Brocket Hall, but Emma is right, he is acting very strangely for someone who claims to have no feelings for her.  
  
“Your Elizabeth is right here,” she says, announcing her presence to him.  
  
His startled expression when he turns around brings a smile to her face.  
  
“You are a very attentive Leicester,” she says, drawing closer, “but I wonder if the real man was as handsome as you are.”  
  
He finds sudden interest in the floor. “I believe I’ve already mentioned that I’m susceptible to flattery, Ma’am,” he murmurs, but when he looks up at her his eyes are twinkling.

“Lord M,” she breathes.

“Don’t,” he says, and there’s a note of warning in his voice.

But Victoria doesn’t care. Duty be damned, just this once. She would give anything for this country, but she will not lose him.

“I might be young, but I’m not naïve.” Confusion colours his face. “Orchids,” she says, as though this clarifies things. “I know what they symbolise.” She does not need to tell him that she pestered Emma until she told her.

“Ah,” he says.

He looks down once more, but this time his gaze is not fixed upon the ground—instead it settles on her lips. He seems to realise his mistake and looks back up almost immediately, but it is too late, she has seen it. She feels victory getting closer.

“You love me,” she says simply. He opens his mouth as if to deny it, but she cuts him off. “Orchids: notoriously difficult to grow, symbolising love and beauty.”

He allows himself a wry smile. “You are very knowledgeable.”

“I have a good teacher,” she returns playfully, before sobering once more. “I cannot go through this again, Lord M. If you don’t love me, I will drop this matter, but if you do…”

“Oh, Ma’am,” he sighs.

“Please.”

“Yes,” he says at last. His voice is infinitely soft. “I do.”

She finds herself clinging to his arm with the relief of it. “Then I will ask you properly, and do not think I will let you refuse me again.” Her words are determined, but her voice shakes. He kindly does not mention it.

“It won’t be easy,” he warns delicately.

“I don’t care. I have a plan for Conroy, and Uncle Leopold does not control me.”

“He has already sent for the Saxe-Coburg brothers.”

“Well, they will be disappointed then,” she says determinedly. “I have made my choice. And, as a wise man once told me, an English marriage would be popular with the public.”

His eyes twinkle. “I’m not sure that’s what was meant, Ma’am.”

“I hope it’s true though,” she admits quietly. His mouth twists in agreement, but does not stop her from speaking the words she has longed to. “Marry me, Lord M. You are the only companion I could ever desire, the only advisor I could ever need and I have no doubt that with you by my side my reign will be stronger.”

“Well, in the face of such an argument, how can I refuse?” he smiles.

She clasps his hand tightly between both of her own. There is but one thing left to say. “Oh, and Lord M?” He quirks his head, entreating her to continue. “I love you too.”

 

 


End file.
